HOW IT WORKS
If you haven’t spent a week watching all—and we mean all—the dead skin on your feet fall off, you haven’t lived. Meet Patchology’s PoshPeel Pedi Cure.
The PoshPeel comes in a cheerful green box containing a pair of cotton-lined booties and two sachets of “activating essence” comprised of a blend of four acids: citric, lactic, glycolic, and salicylic. You take a large vessel (that you never, ever plan to serve food out of), fill it with warm water, and soak your bare feet for 15 minutes. Next, you pour one packet of essence in each bootie, secure the adhesive top around your ankle, and let it sit for an hour. When time’s up, you soak in water for another 15 minutes. And then nothing happens…
THE GOOD/GROSS PART
…until it does. For me, things started to get exciting around day four. And by “exciting” I mean intensely gross—but in the most amazing, pleasant way imaginable. Recall the sensation of peeling dried Elmer’s Glue off your hands as a child. Yup, it’s just like that—except with actual skin. Over the following several days, all of the leathery, knobbly patches on my soles, heels, and toes curled up and flaked away. Just like, politely removed themselves from my body. If you have even the slightest predilection for icky dermatological stuff, well, welcome to your Superbowl-Oscars-Christmas rolled into one. The opportunities for picking are infinite.
The fact that all of this happened painlessly—in fact, it never even itched— is absolutely nuts, because the end result was nothing short of spectacular. Somehow, Patchology was able to dissolve all of my crusty, barnacle-like calcifications and unearth a new layer of soft, squidgy, pliant flesh. It felt amazing, was oddly mesmerizing, and I swear I’ve gone down half a shoe size since.
FLAKE IT ‘TIL YOU MAKE IT
I’m not harboring any delusions about becoming a foot model post-Patchology, but I was pretty pleased about its effect on my work life: no longer am I regarded as the default guinea pig for any and all foot-related products. Which happens to be really good timing, since I have a lot of acne and color correcting stuff to get to.